#20375 + (1819) -

[@|Asriel] I just got a crazy telemarket call [@|Asriel] an autoglass repair shop, asking if we had any damaged auto glass we'd like a free quote on [@|Asriel] I wondered if that was a variant on "is your refrigerator running" [@|Asriel] if I had broken glass, I'd do something about it [@Mono] lol [@|Asriel] not sit around hoping someone will call me up [@|Asriel] 911 doesnt call you up randomly "We were wondering if anybody happens to be dying, traped, giving birth, or breaking into your home at the moment" [@|Asriel] "I'm so glad you called, there's a guy holding a gun to my face" [@Mono] rofl

#20376 + (1202) -

<Ettin> Heeey, Lyrai <Ettin> Hypotheeetical queestion for you <Ettin> If you geeeet seemen on thee keeyboard, wwould it breeak it? <Ettin> (Sorry, my "E" keey is sticky)

#20377 + (495) -

<CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs and closes the door*

#20378 + (149) -

<Arkrite> Are you just going to rip off every TV show for the rest of the night? I mean, because I do have other things to do. <Sinclair-> masterbation does not count as something to do :P * @Death-Blade notes the amount of masterbation comments has grown 10x since everyone started on bash.org <Sinclair-> i know <Sinclair-> i dont even wank, and it's like all you see anymore on bash <@Death-Blade> arky: go there <Sinclair-> ah man <Sinclair-> i just opened up my ass crack for an ass raping didnt i? <@Death-Blade> you the goatse.cx guy? <Sinclair-> ewww! <Sinclair-> i went there wondering wtf they were talking about <Sinclair-> FUCK <@Death-Blade> lol <Arkrite> Okay, that's just destrubing beyond all belief. <Sinclair-> that and i went to google to learn what bukkake <Sinclair-> is <@Death-Blade> lol <Sinclair-> not <Sinclair-> cool <@Death-Blade> <wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser <Yodakirata> lol <Sinclair-> SHUT UP! <Sinclair-> I NEVER WANT TO SEE IMAGES IN MY HEAD LIKE THAT AGAIN!!! * Sinclair- types /clear

#20371 + (32) -

<alex> I'll beat you 'til you have your Native American vision

#20372 + (5182) -

<blaxthos> you want bash.org should participate in the SOPA blackout protest on 18 January ? (+) for yes

#20373 + (813) -

<manero> so our friend, she's in the part of med school where you do all the genital exams and shit <manero> and prostrate exams, etc <manero> and a couple weeks ago, they had to do it on a real person for the first time. and so she was very nervous <manero> so she's doing the exam, she does the front and everything is ok <manero> and she does the back door and she gets through it all <manero> but at the very end, as she finishes <manero> she didn't know how to tell the dude she was done, so she slapped him on the ass <manero> i had tears running down my face for 10 minutes after she told the story <blach> alright bitch, im done with your bunghole *smack <manero> the funny part was the dude was like 60, too

#20374 + (1434) -

<Elzie_Ann> I love how God tries to mass murder the Israelites like a million times in exodus <Elzie_Ann> And Moses has to calm him down every time <Elzie_Ann> <God> ARGH MUST KILL MY PEOPLE WHO SUCK <Moses> Wait they didn't mean it <God> k but next time they're dying. <Moses> Dammit guys, stop pissing God off

#20368 + (621) -

<laszlow> What would you rather wake up to at three in the morning? A dick in your mouth or a clown grinning at you from across the room? <Neal> I can only pick one

#20369 + (365) -

<cornbeef> 8? i didnt even know what a vagina was at 8 <Scofco> I didn't learn to masturbate until I was 17... up until then I always thought 'masturbation' was a type of pasta dish they served in fancy restaurants